This is where I will blog about trans* things.

I’ve yet to finalise the middle name that I want but I’m debating picking one that begins with E so that my initials spell QED and I can make jokes about the latin phrase QED

In terms of my transition, this is what’s been happening lately:

• Got a referral to the gender clinic from my GP
• I will probably change my name (legally to Quinnten) next month 
• I will go to the gender clinic sometime in the next month and talk to the psychs and get assessed and hopefully get on hormones soon

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mattransitions:

I admit it: I’m jealous. 

I’m jealous of the cis guys who had the boyhood I would die for and almost did. I’m jealous of their dad and mum who call them son. I’m jealous of the stubble on their faces, the low rumble of their voice, the way their chest could never be mistaken for anything else. 

I know that boys and men and guys aren’t their youth or combined body parts. I know I’m just as much of a boy, a man as them, but I can’t help but feel anger and jealously flip over inside me because I was “born a girl” and my family won’t ever let me forget this. 

It’s at it’s all time worst, this whole family business. It’s hard to swallow her and she and miss, but I think I choked on “You can want to be a boy all you want, but you’ll never be one” the other day and “I don’t want to ever understand” is something I won’t soon forget. 

The truth is I need to leave. The sooner, the faster, the fucking better. If I go back to college, if I stay here… I don’t know how much more I can take. I certainly can’t take two more years of it though. 

I’m just done. I’ve given up on them, but I have friends and a boyfriend who love me, so that’s something to look at and smile about. 

Is it so hard to get people to use the correct name/pronoun? Do I really have to remind people? It’s really not that hard to try to use the right pronouns.

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So, this week I’ve come out to a few close friends (who live interstate and overseas), and a few family members, and everyone has been so accepting and supportive. It’s wonderful, really, and I didn’t really expect everyone to just be like “yeah, I can use male pronouns and call you Quinnten, no worries, of course it’s fine!”. 

I mean, the people in my life, those friends and family members that I’ve come out to are good people who are open-minded and accepting, so it figures that they’d be accepting of my gender identity. I’ve had bad experiences coming out (sexuality wise, though I don’t identify with that particular label anymore) so I’m always a little bit hesitant to come out to people even if I’m absolutely certain that they’ll accept me. I suppose most people, if not everyone, gets nervous when coming out, though.

Some people are adjusting to using male pronouns and using a new name, and that’s fine by me, as long they’re trying (which they are). It makes me so happy to hear someone using male pronouns with me, and it’s just not a big deal to them. I mean, obviously it’s important and everything, but it’s not idk something they struggle with.

I seem to be passing about 99.9% of the time and it feels really great.

So I’ve started coming out to a few people, my closest friends and such. Basically the people I know and trust most and am certain that will be accepting of such news, and thankfully the people that are my closest friends are wonderful and accepting and are using the correct name and pronouns!